MELIODAS AND MELIODAS AND OH LOOK IT'S ALSO MELIODAS
by Hawkmamaknows
Summary: Hawk accidently stumbles upon a great secret concerning Meliodas. A secret, so great, so life changing it could change the entire minds of the Seven Deadly Sins forever.


Hawk jumped, more like threw his body across wood and landed on top of the bar. Once he found the willpower he managed to scoot onto the ledge, leaning over and using his hooves to reach towards the glasses stacked neatly behind the bar, his limbs and tail twitching and his skin a rather unhealthy greenish hue.

It took a couple tries with a few choice curses before he finally hooked one black hoof into a glass and shakily pulled it up onto the counter. Then he leaned forward and stretched again, trying to get to the spout protruding from a barrel of ale just out of reach. Hawk muttered under his breath and strained with all his might.

No such luck, and even with all these noises he was making he was doomed. _Doomed_.

"Hey, master!" a voice called behind him. "What'cha doing there?"

Hawk stared right through him before blinking, the light of life returning to his eyes before he sagged against a bar stool, a despondent sigh deflating his entire rump. "I need a drink, Ban. It's bad. Real bad."

"What's up with you master?"

Hawk looked at him square in the eye, the black hard as steel and as hollow as coal. And in a battle-hardened voice that only a veteran of pain and suffering could have, he said, "You won't believe the horrors I've seen."

Ban frowned. What could a pig possibly know about horrors? His own recent horror at the hands of a certain sacred tree flashed through his mind, and he shuddered. _Not now_ , he told himself.

He was about to tease the pig, flicking one of his green tinted ears to be sure, but when he examined him closer he realized he wasn't kidding. This pig _had_ seemed something terrible. Really bad, going by how jerky and full out shell shocked the porker looked. Hot damn, what the hell happened since he had taken a nap? Suddenly concerned, he pulled up a stool next to him and sat down. "What's wrong? Can't be as bad as dying can it?"

"Please... Ban..." he whispered in such a heartbroken plea that Ban would have had to been some sort of soulless bastard, heartless too if he didn't help the poor guy out. Quickly Ban poured him a large foamy glass of ale and set it down in front of him and with a pat on his shaking head, the crying ham all but cried as he immediately stuck his snout forward and gulped down half.

Only for him he to look at it, really think about it, and down the rest. With a glare and a chuckle the undead Sin filled it back up as Hawk finally stared off into the distance.

"Well," Hawk began, "it all started earlier today. I was looking for Elizabeth upstairs..."

FADE TO FLASHBACK

"Hey Elizabeth, are you up here?" Hawk called out. He was worried. Really worried, it had been more than ten minutes since he'd seen her last; which was more than enough time for something to happen! He hurriedly nosed around the upstairs hallway, puffing and pugoing near King's door, until he came to the room the princess shared with Meliodas.

 _Pervert_ , Hawk grumbled before pushing the door open. _He better not have done anything. I'll teach him to grab the princess!_

He scanned the room and noticed Elizabeth crouched down in front of the closet. Well, not Elizabeth exactly; more like her rather ample rear end sticking up in the air. The short skirt of her uniform had raised up to show off a pair of very tiny pink panties that barely covered anything important. His ears twitched in delight as Elizabeth's butt wiggled and he went to walk into the room, the tip of her name on his tongue.

But, as Hawk was about to call out she turned. Hawk gasped. Then froze.

And then his entire soul turned into little tiny pieces and _shattered_.

It wasn't Elizabeth in that short skirt and panties. It was Meliodas.

That-that-!

His mouth hung open as he watched Meliodas walk back towards the bed, whistling as he swayed his hips. He carried two thigh high stockings in one hand and a bundle of clothes in the other. Meliodas perched on the edge of the bed kicking out his legs with a flourished kick and taking one of the stockings, he carefully bunched up the silky fabric before inserting a foot inside. He started a merry tune as he raised his leg into the air, pulling the stocking up his leg. He hummed as he then slid the other stocking up the other, purring as he perched back on his hands, and he raised both legs in the air, admiring his handiwork. He straightened his knees and kicked his legs back and forth for a moment.

"Wait, this is all wrong," Meliodas said. He hopped up and pulled one stocking off. He ran over to the mirror on the wall and checked his reflection. "Perfect," he said with a smile.

Next, Meliodas returned to the pile of clothes on the bed. He pulled out a frilly lace bra and snapped it around his chiseled chest. It was much too big for him, but that was quickly rectified as he began stuffing clothing into the bra until the ample cups were filled. Finally he shrugged on a pink uniform shirt, quickly doing up the buttons which strained against the large lady lumps underneath.

He looked himself up in the mirror, popping a hip out to the side before nodding with a fierce ready for battle look.

And promptly gave both of his breasts an ample squeeze.

Hawk was dying. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe as one hoof stayed frozen hovering in air. His heart didn't drop; it gladly dove into the depths of hell. It was as if every part of his being trembled in horror, and it was then that Meliodas reached around as he stuck a rather gorgeous pose; his fingers dipping into his-

END OF FLASHBACK

Ban gave a low groan, shaking his head violently back and forth. "No.. no, Master, please.." He swallowed thickly. "Please tell me that's all you saw..."

Hawk shook his head sadly. Ban's hands clenched open and shut, and then he suddenly punched himself hard in the face. So hard, in fact, that he broke his own neck. The boar waited patiently as Ban righted his head and reattached it.

"So as I was saying," Hawk started up as Ban whimpered, grabbing the strongest drink in the bar for the both of them.

ABRUPTLY GOES BACK TO FLASHBACK

-right into his panties, curling around one ass cheek and giving it a nice firm squeeze with a perverted giggled.

"Oh Lord Meliodas," he squeaked in a high voice, bringing up a dainty hand to cover his mouth as he mimicked a certain princess. He even bat his eyelashes. "Is this alright?"

Hawk shook his head and stepped backwards, trying to escape without being noticed. But then Meliodas swiped his hand, and suddenly there were four.

The three new Meliodases crowded in front of the bed, giggling and squeezing as they circled the cross dresser in various states of undone. Hands were everywhere, skin pressing lecherously against skin as the first Meliodas gasped loudly. The newcomers began touching and stroking different areas.

"That's good!" Meliodas nodded quickly, giving a thumbs up as he appraised Princess Meliodas and Hawk... well, Hawk twitched as another clone stuffed his face into ample stuffed breasts.

"Am I a good boy princess?" Pervert Meliodas crooned as the clones continued to appraise Princess Meliodas. He knelt and rubbed his face up and down the bare thigh. "Am I a naughty boy princess?"

French Meliodas, sporting a spectacular mustache, stroked it and commented, "Hon Hon!"

CRACK

"Khyaa!" Princess Meliodas squealed as a firm hand came down on his behind, leaving a bright red hand print. Meliodas then soundly smacked Princess Meliodas on the other ass cheek too; the crack of skin striking soft flesh shaking the whole group.

Princess Meliodas growled, deeply.

French Meliodas set his monocle on his eye and "hon hon-ed" again.

"Oh my I can't handle this I'm way over my head with all of these penises!" Princess Meliodas all but screamed as he was bent forward. Pervert Meliodas hummed in thought with his head still under his skirt, pressed up against him for maximum clarity. As Pervert Meliodas tried to solve the meaning of life while under there, Meliodas decided to take charge. It was his duty as a Knight to do the rough dirty work and show naughty naughty power, and the Princess Meliodas was about to get what was coming to him.

With a bark and an order, his eyes flashing, Meliodas announced, "The research period is over now!"

"Hon Hon!" French Meliodas agreed, leaning in to Princess Meliodas for a heated, open mouth kiss. One of tongue and spit.

STOP THE FLASHBACK

"Fucking hell master!"

Ban's scream sent birds flying out of the forest for miles. He slammed his head down so hard brain splattered against Hawk's face. But Hawk was patient, not at all grossed out as a clump of silver hair fell off his nose and landed with a spat on what remained of the counter, letting his friend get himself back together.

After all, nothing compared to pure disgusting events that happened next in Hawk's hollow mind.

FLASHBACK GO

Princess Meliodas squealed, stumbling forward. He was only kept from falling on his face by Pervert Meliodas, who was solving a calculus problem as he rubbed his face against the front of Princess Meliodas' panties, a nice wet spot already forming. As Pervert Meliodas gripped Princess Meliodas' thighs to keep him steady, French Meliodas gave a muffled "Hon Hon" as his tongue swished inside Princess Meliodas' mouth.

French Meliodas steadily French kissed Princess Meliodas, reaching up to squeeze one fake breast in a very French way.

"Oh Please Sir Meliodas!" Princess Meliodas begged, wiggling his hips.

Meanwhile, Meliodas moved behind Princess Meliodas, unbuckling his trousers. He grunted as he pushed up Princess Meliodas' skirt, eliciting another squeal from the Princess (Meliodas), and yanked down the thin fabric barely covering hose tone perfect rear. The shiny globes covered in sweat shook beautifully as his (Meliodas) hands moved over his (Princess Meliodas) cheeks, ignoring the muffled protest of Pervert Meliodas as he fondled and swatted at it as couple times.

"Naughty boys need panties!" he (Pervert Meliodas) mumbled between the Princess's legs, as he just realized he forgot to carry the One.

"Nah. Just think about how French it is to go bare?"

"Hon hon hon!" French Melindas agreed, of course, as he tongued the Princess's nostrils.

Meliodas gripped Princess Meliodas' hips as he whimpered, pulling him back gently as he slowly, dryly (like he liked it) dragged his man dick into his pink puckered hole.

Pervert Meliodas stroked one of his cheeks and then the other against the panties, thinking about gravity as just a theory that could be manipulated to his whims. As he was about to make a breakthrough regarding how atoms relate to each other in space, Princess Meliodas suddenly began to... grow. The princess' erection pushed forward against the thin fabric of the panties and poked Pervert Meliodas in the eye. "No! Bad!" he huffed, pushing the bulge to the side as his idea flittered away.

But it was too late, the fucking had begun.

**ASS FUCKING GO**

"Oh! Oh! Oooooooh!"

FLASHBACK END THANK YOU GODDESS

"Hawk," Ban sobbed, his face chalk white. He tilted a small bottle of acid into his mug, swirling the powder around with one finger.

"Yeah?" Hawk asked, taking another deep drink.

Ban gulped his drink down, wincing. "How did you not run away yet?" He felt the heat and the pain of the poison rise in his stomach, and he doubled over in excrutiating pain. As his insides were torn apart, Hawk watched for a moment before answering, "I was curious."

"It was like staring into the abyss Ban. And it stared back."

JUST KIDDING IT'S ANOTHER FLASHBACK

French Meliodas "Honned" in pleasure as the pretty princess was tipped forward until he was sitting on the clone between his legs.

"How did you like this?" Meliodas purred as he slowed down, sweat on his brow as his ass cheeks quivered with each snap of his hips. "That right, ah- ugh! Oh! T-That outfit really suits you."

Princess Meliodas moaned, gasping as he looked down and swallowed. The very tip of his penis was in-between Pervert Meliodas's lips as it poked out the side of his pretty panties balled up in Pervert Meliodas's hands. And his clone was sucking, lightly, remembered his tax return rates of last year.

A loud groan erupts from Princess around French Meliodas' tongue, which is darting in and out of his mouth. The groan encourages Meliodas to start pounding faster than a speeding bullet and more powerfully than a locomotive, and the sudden shift in tempo causes Princess Meliodas' hips to slam forward. Princess' princess dick accidentally fills Pervert Meliodas' mouth and presses into his throat. The Boar Hat's offshore dividends suddenly compound tenfold as Pervert Meliodas gags.

As Pervert Meliodas gags, he jerks backwards in order to breathe... and slams right into French Meliodas' legs. French Melidas topples to the side, completely off-balance. His grip on Princess Meliodas' hair tightens and he pulls the princess forward. His princess dick ends up completely embedded inside Pervert's throat as he collapses underneath him in a heap.

Now Princess Meliodas is half on hands and knees, swallowed by Pervert Meliodas. The new position allows Meliodas to really start going to town.

FLASHBACK EXIT STAGE RIGHT

Ban coiled a rope around his hand, deftly tying a knot around one end. As he fitted his head inside the hole, he said, "Master, I want you to know... I always enjoyed your company."

"And I yoursth, brosther," Hawk slurred. He was still only on his second drink, but that was two more than the pig was used to. Ban hopped up on the bar and tossed the end around a beam that crossed the ceiling. He tied one end to the sturdy wood, placed his neck inside the noose, and jumped.

As his body twitched and swung back and forth, Hawk sighed. "There'sh shmore."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW

Meliodas hooted as he rode Princess Meliodas. The other Meliodases were so funny! Pervert Meliodas lay on the floor, gagging and choking on Princess Meliodas, who had halfway landed on his face. French Meliodas stepped back, his French dick springing from his pants like a baguette, as stiff as the Eiffel Tower itself. "Hon hon hon hooo-OOOONNN!" he shouted. He began to spurt white globs into Princess Meliodas' ear, where they hung like little white flags of surrender. Then French Meliodas stepped back to admire his handiwork, signing a hon as he sipped on a glass of French wine and smoking a long cigarette from an even longer cigarette holder.

Being covered with such thick globs set Princess Meliodas off next. With a deep pink blush and a screech, he started to also ejaculate right down Pervert Meliodas' throat. As the fluid pulsed and spurted in his mouth, Pervert had a vision. He suddenly saw with clarity the origins of the universe itself, the pattern within the fabric of time and space, finally ending with the end of the universe. He opened his mouth to describe this vision quest to the other Meliodases, but French Meliodas promptly stuffed his mouth with Princess Meliodas' pink panties. The feel of the fabric in his mouth proved to much, and Pervert Meliodas erupted like a volcano; the come just didn't seem to stop and Meliodas cackled and groaned behind them all.

Last but not least, Meliodas began his own orgasm. Delicious waves of pleasure forced him to begin convulsing as he exploded deep inside Princess Meliodas with a howl. The other three Meliodases gave him a round of applause, punctuated with a final "HON HON!" from French Meliodas as they held up three different white sign- all with different numbers to score him with. He nodded in agreement with the well rounded twenty seven as he carefully removed his man dick from the Princess' sore ass, but before he can give a command, Princess Meliodas gave another swipe of his hand.

The other three Meliodases disappeared in a flash. Hawk gasped in surprise. Princess Meliodas, or rather, Meliodas, quickly straightened himself up. He removed each article of clothing, folded them neatly and placed them on hangers or in drawers. He wiped up the sticky evidence from the floor and put back on his shirt and pants. As he turned to leave, a slight limp to his step, Hawk turned and ran as fast as he could down the steps.

END OF FLASHBACK END OF DAYS

Hawk grew quiet with the end of his tale. Ban sat next to him, sadly stabbing himself with a knife in one hand and slowly draining the cup in his other hand. A peace settled over the Boar Hat as the two companions sat in silence.

Elizabeth entered and stopped short, instantly sensing something was wrong.

"Hawk?" she asked timidly. She walked behind the bar. She waved her hand in front of a stone cold face, the undead not even blinking in response to her presence.

"Sir... Sir Ban? Are you all right?"

Ban burst out into tears.

Hawk nodded, in complete understanding and compassion as he said sadly, "You have no idea, Princess. You couldn't possibly understand."

Elizabeth frowned. "It can't be that bad. Just tell me what's wrong."

Hawk began his story again and Ban slumped forward on the bar. He used the knife to begin sawing at his neck, but not a half minute into the story Elizabeth stopped him. Holding up a calming hand as she pat Ban's blood soaked hair with the other. And he looked up, still mumbling about tentacle trees and demon dicks as she went on.

"Oh, Hawk, did you catch Meliodas during his play time?"

Ban and Hawk immediately sat straight up. Their hearts lurching in apprehension.

"P-play... time?" Ban asked, whimpering as the knife continued jutting out from his jugular.

Elizabeth nodded with a slightly dreamy smile. "Oh, yes, Sir Meliodas dresses up in the tavern uniform and pleasures himself with his clones. Sometimes he plays the girl, and sometimes the boy, and sometimes he acts French..." She drifted off, her eyes glazing over as her smile deepened before she noticed their expressions. "Didn't you ever wonder why Sir Meliodas had so many women's uniforms here before he hired me?" she laughed. Or tried to, her light cheerful laughter died on her lips as they both watched her with mouths and eyes open in shock, their trembling worsening.

"What? Is... is there something wrong with that?"

Hawk and Ban looked at each other. A sort of brotherly understanding mirrored in each others eyes. "I guess we both learned something, hey, Ban?" Hawk said softly. His entire being was just gone, his will to live gone, the lie he had been living... _gone._

Ban nodded, his expression grave. "If you leave him alone with the tatas, he's gonna touch the tatas."

FIN...?


End file.
